Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning, From The Start

In honor of all my friends who are now getting "on their mark" with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah planning, I thought I'd back track to "the starting line." The best place to start is by double checking that the date you were given by the synagogue matches the Torah portion that may have also been noted in the official letter. Mistakes happen. I have a friend that introduced her child to the Torah portion in all of the ways I suggested, only to realize that the wrong Torah portion was written in the letter for the correct date of the Mitzvah.

Take your date and plug it in here: www.hebcal.com/converter - clicking on the button that says "Convert Gregorian to Hebrew Date." Then it will show you the Hebrew date of your Mitzvah as well as the name of the parsha (section or story) from the Torah that will be read on that date.

Next, surf over to the G-dcast Channel on YouTube here: www.youtube.com/g-dcast - in the upper right part of the page you will see a search box for the G-dcast Channel videos. Search using the name of the Torah parsha that you just confirmed at hebcal.com. Check out the short animated video that you find about your specific Torah parsha and share it with your Bar/Bat Mitzvah child!

Those are the top two tips I have for those of you just starting out! Thanks for stopping by!

Questions you'll need to consider...

Questions...
Most synagogues will provide you with basic information on requirements and honors. Some logistical information might not be covered...
1. Usually all males are required or requested to wear a kippah. Are they required to wear a tallit?
2. If they have an honor such as opening or closing The Ark, saying a blessing (aliyah) before/after a Torah reading, carrying/dressing The Torah, or other honor, are they required to wear a tallit along with a kippah?
3. What honors are non-Jews welcomed to have?
4. Will there be a scheduled time for rehearsal?
5. Will there be a scheduled time for portraits? Are photos or video allowed during the service?
6. If Grandparents are invited to stand or otherwise participate in saying the Shehecheyanu prayer, does this include non-Jewish Grandparents?
7. Is there a requirement to purchase flowers or sponsor a kiddush/oneg?
...
I guess I'll add to the list as we go! Please feel free to leave your own questions as a comment below and I will add them to the list. Thank you!

Literally or figuratively?!

So I took a little gander at the English translation of the Torah portion our daughter was assigned to learn and sing in front of the congregation (in Hebrew) to become a Bat Mitzvah.  *GASP*  How are we going to simply gloss over the literal meaning of some of these completely inappropriate and outdated concepts?!  For example, kidnapping, rape, justifiable murder by pelting with stones, marrying your dead husband's brother to insure the family name is carried on, stoning your own son to death because he is rebellious & disobedient, and cutting off the hand of the woman who grabs a man's private parts to break up a fight between her husband and his brother.  Oh sure, there are some great messages in this particular section of the Bible.  One exceptionally timeless message is that "finder's" is not "keeper's"; you should always try to return something you've found that does not belong to you.  After all, I am by no means an expert in religion or the Torah.  This section of the Bible contains 74 of the 613 laws or "mitzvot" G-d commanded to us.  I certainly do not understand them all, or what they should mean to me and my family.  However, I do know that our daughter is expected to learn to sing the Hebrew text of these 74 laws dictated in this portion of the Old Testament as it is written in the Torah.  I have conflicted feelings about burdening her with some of the inappropriate information it contains.  Does that make me a hypocrite?  I don't know.  I do know that there is a lot to be learned from the positive messages that this parsha contains though, so I suppose we'll try to put our focus on that.  I wonder how other parents have handled some of the age inappropriate texts their children have been challenged with.  This past Shabbat a set of twins tackled parashat Vayishlach for their Bar and Bat Mitzvot, which contains a powerful story of rape and revenge; I appreciated that our Rabbi said straight up that it is difficult, challenging, and sad to have to revisit such a tragic story year in and year out, but that we do it and hopefully learn from it.  Please feel free to comment here and share your experiences so that our family and others can learn too.
Here's a summary of the story:
http://bit.ly/6R3JYS 
and here's a detailed translation:
http://bit.ly/5zCpjY